Twisted Time Turner
by kygirl101
Summary: When Harry is desperate to save Sirius, he accidentally launches himself and Hermione into the past...little does he know that when he saves one, he loses the other. WARNING: adult language and a tendancy not to update reguarly
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One: Dialogue

"Hermione, I have to save him."

"Harry, you can't! You'd be seen, and Sirius is already gone…forever."

"That's not true!!! He said he'd never leave me."

"Harry…he's gone."

"No…no…Hermione, he can't be."

"Oh, Harry…Harry…Ack, leggo of my time-turner! Harry, you can't! We could get stuck in time FOREVER!!!!!!!"

"I'm sorry, Hermione, but I have to do this. Sirius was the closest thing I ever had to a father!!"

time-turn

"Harry, you idiot!! There's no way we can get back now, without being see!"

"He's here, somewhere, I know it."

"Harry…we're at Hogwarts."

"It didn't work?!?!"

"Oh, no, it did Harry, believe me."

"How do you know?"

"Because, if you look over there, those four people are Gryffindors."

"But how do you know it worked?"

"Because, Harry…That's Sirius, Professor Lupin, your father…and Peter Pettigrew."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: Observations

Harry could see them. His father, his god father, his D.A.D.A teacher and the man, no boy, who betrayed them all. Right here, right now. Standing in possibly the same spot he had stood in just a bit earlier.

And everything Harry had ever heard about the was true.

Sirius was good looking, with long black hair and pale blue eyes. Is father looked like him, except for the eyes and the scar. Remus…well, he looked like he was holding too many muggle novels for his own good.

And, then there was Peter Pettigrew. He was a small, rather fat (not Dudley fat, but wide around the middle fat.) and looked like he was rather lost in life. He had small watery eyes that kept looking everywhere but at his friends. Almost as if they were searching for something that wasn't there.

Was it possible that he had already converted to Voldemort's side?

From the badge on his father's chest, Harry guessed that off four of them were in their seventh and final year of Hogwarts, and from the midwinter weather outside, Harry guessed that it was already half way through the year.

Harry turned to see Hermione staring at him horror struck. The only reason she wasn't screaming at him was because that would attract the attention of the seventeen year old boys to them and the whole _'must not be seen'_ motto was etched in Hermione's brain for ever.

She jerked her head towards the grand staircase and Harry understood her meaning.

_Dumbledore first. Your father later._

Harry looked back over his shoulder and bit his lower lip. But, deep down, he knew Hermione was right.

He looked back at her and nodded.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: The Story Begins

"Lemon drops," Harry gasped, as both he and Hermione stopped in their mad dash not to be seen but still get to the head master's office.

Harry looked expectantly at the stone gargoyle, waiting. It didn't move.

Not that Harry was surprised. Every time he thought he had thought he had known the password, it was always different. He tried again.

"Sugar quills."

Nothing.

"Fizzing Whizbys."

Not a thing.

"Uh, Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans."

The gargoyle leapt to life and jumped aside.

"That's weird."

"Good job, Harry," Hermione whispered, eyes glancing down the corridor. "Now, please, move."

They raced up the stairs, hearts pounding and eyes watering with the effort of breathing and still running. They finally reached the door with the griffin knocker, and paused to catch their breaths.

Harry lifted his had to knock, but just as he was about to, the door was wrenched open from the inside. Harry was taken aback to see a seventeen year old Severous Snape standing there, oily black hair falling into his eyes. Eyes that latched onto Harry and grew wider.

"So…" he said, voice low in the tone Harry would, later on in life, come to fear. "So, you came to fess up, did you Potter? Came to tell the headmaster what you did to me?!?"

His voice started low and was almost screaming by the time he finished his sentence.

Harry stepped back, nearly colliding with Hermione as he did so. What had he done to Snape?

Dumbledore then chose to make an appearance in the door way. His twinkling eyes glanced over Harry and Hermione for a moment before he stood back and motioned them into his office.

It was then, and only then, that Harry saw what was wrong with Snape.

A long, bushy black tail was sticking out of the seat of his pants. Along with a collar that seemed to have glued itself to his neck that read-in bright pink and glittery letters-'Malfoy's Bitch'. Harry's jaw hit the ground as Hermione giggled uncontrollably behind him.

"Severous," Dumbledore said quietly. "Why don't you wait outside while I chat with these two," he motioned towards Harry and Hermione. "Then we can come up with a suitable punishment for Mr. Potter."

Snape smirked at Harry, who's jaw was still making a rather extended trip to the rug. Hermione was trying her best to block the flow of giggles.

Snape stalked out if the small office, muttering something that no one could hear. The door swung shut behind him, and Harry turned to address Dumbledore.

"Sir, I'm not-" he began, but was cut off by a wave of Professor Dumbledore's hand.

"I, know, Harry," he said.

Hermione's eyes grew wide, and he jaw dropped.

"How can you know, sir?" she asked in a hushed whisper, as if a loud voice would cause Dumbledore to come to his senses.

"I know, Ms. Granger," Dumbledore said, eyes darting between Harry and Hermione. "Because you are not the first to travel back in time…and ending up getting stuck."

* * *

A/N: What do you all think so far? Should I include somethiing about Dumbledore and Grindelwauld? Shoud Snape's collar be perminate? I need some hel, and I appreciate your opinions. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four: Minor Exceptions**

"Wait," Hermione said cautiously, looking at Dumbledore, "Sir…you…did…what??!?"

Dumbledore smiled his twinkling smile and shook his head. "Alas, I will not burden you with that story now," he said coolly, "Maybe when we are ready to send you back, but until then, just know I was trying to…do some good in the world."

Harry nodded his head in acceptance. He was used to Dumbledore's weird ways and secrecy; Hermione on the other hand cocked her head to one side and opened her mouth as if to ask another question, but a swift look from Harry silenced her.

"As I think you know," Dumbledore said, "I can not send you back to your time just yet, and thus, I have no other option but to place you in one of the houses here."

Dumbledore stood up and swept to the other side of the room where a short cabinet stood. The headmaster pulled on the oak handles and shuffled around a bit inside. When Hermione craned her neck to get a better look, she found Dumbledore had placed himself expertly to prevent anyone from looking to see what was in that cabinet.

Finally, Dumbledore straightened himself up and handed the two of them a pile of cloths. When Harry looked at him questioningly, Dumbledore only smiled.

"Uh, sir," Hermione said quietly. "What about our names? Harry can't keep his."

"A very good question, Ms. Granger. But I am well prepared."

And with that, he handed Harry a manila folder, like the kind muggles use to keep their paper all in order. Harry opened it and withdrew several sheets of paper.

"Transfer students?!?" He asked surprised as he read. "From Ireland!?!? My name is Harry Potter?!?!?!...wait…"

He and Hermione looked up at Dumbledore, each looking a little scared and a lot confused.

"Don't worry," Dumbledore said. "Potter is an unusually common name in this era. No one will notice. Now, will you please send Mr. Snape up?"


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE: WHO

CHAPTER FIVE: WHO?

A/N: Warning, swearing and bondage reference (honestly, with Snape's color, who didn't see that coming)

Once Snape had ascended the stairs to Dumbledore's office, Hermione grabbed Harry by the shoulders and dragged him down the corridor until they reached a broom closet, which she flung open (completely forgetting the wand in her left hand) and shoved him inside. Harry stumbled and lost his footing, causing him to fall into the supplies rack and eating a mouthful of starch.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!! YOU GOD DAMN SONF OF A…" it seemed Hermione couldn't quite finish her sentence, but the way her hands were balled into fist got the point across clearly. Somehow, Harry knew he was going to die—in this closet—at the hands of Hermione Granger. "If we ever get out of this," she said, her voice almost a whisper, "I'm going to...to…I don't know. Something horrible."

"Okay, Hermione. Chill out." Harry said. Hermione looked like she was going to blow up again, but she kept quiet and Harry plowed on. "I'm so sorry…but, this is going to be wonderful. I'll actually meet my dad."

"Harry," something about the tone in Hermione's voice made Harry look her in the eye. She knelt beside him and slung one arm around his shoulders. "Harry, I can understand _you _wanting to time travel, but why did you have to drag me along with you? I have nothing to do with...with…"

Before Harry could find out what Hermione had nothing to do with, the door of the broom closet was thrown open and a loud shout sounded.

"AHA!!" came a triumphant voice. "Caught you!! Ickle-fifth years aren't supposed to be making out in MY Make Out closet. Now, let's see…"

"God, Prongs, give them a break," came a softer voice. "I thought you didn't punish Gryffindors?"

"Ha!" came a bark like laugh, "We 'punished' Snape alright. Did you see his face when he saw he had a bond collar? Fucking hilarious!!"

"Shut up, Padfoot," the first figure said. "Now, you're...hang on?"

James Potter straightened up and stared at his mirror inmage (well, minus the bucket on his knee and girl around his shoulders). He looked at Sirius, then Remus (but NOT at Peter…) and then back at the two in the broom closet.

"Uhhh…" he said slowly. "Have we…have we met?"

A/N: I'm such a horrible person!! I haven't updated in forever!! I'm so sorry!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!! So, not as funny in this chapter, but I thought it was about time to add some swearing and Girlpower!Hermione…so…yeah.


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